Wednesday, 9 April 2008
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
Spitzer Roasting
Sometimes, things just seem so easy that it’s not even worth bothering. This is one of those times.
I will say though that $4,500 per hour is the most damning evidence that I have seen of inflation running out of control.
Friday, 8 February 2008
The hysteria of crowds
I received this email from a close friend that this happened to so I know it isn’t a hoax. Pass it on – it may save you from being a victim.
------ Original Message ----
From: Victim of carjacking
To: ‘the inscrutable chicken’; ‘fat bloke I met down the pub’; ‘the third of my three friends’
Sent: Fri Feb 08 15:36:22 2008
Subject: BEWARE OF NEW METHOD OF CAR JACKING!!!!!!!!!!! (NOT A JOKE)
Guys,
car jackers have gotten increasingly sophisticated – from grabbing your keys at traffic lights, or hiding in your back seat when you go in to pay for petrol, to putting bits of paper in the back window of your car in parking lots.
The new method is to wait until you have parked your car and gone into your house. When the coast is clear, they can open your locks with a master device known in underground circles as a “key”. If your car has an alarm or immobiliser, they can disable it with an advanced electronic infra-red emitting device called a “fob”.
“But wait”, I hear you say, “I have a super-duper expensive car that has 3 million key permutations and an alarm that uses 1,024 bit encryption that will take a modern computer 19 days to cycle through all of the possible combinations. They can’t possibly succeed without my keys”. This is where the car jackers get really sneaky.
They masquerade as single people in nightclubs and bars. Having spied their victims, they ask them out on a date, where they exercise their charm to secure subsequent dates – ultimately leading to cohabitation and marriage. After a while, they pretend that nothing you do is good enough for them. They whine about how you can’t hold down a job, that your collection of dirty mags is cluttering up the living room, and the stench of beer in the toilet is overwhelming. Finally, they pretend there is a snapping point where they walk out and take your car. YOU HAVE JUST BECOME A VICTIM!!!!!!!
This happened to me last week. Don’t let it happen to you. DO NOT go to any nightclubs. DO NOT go to any bars. DO NOT go on any dates. DO NOT engage in any social interaction that may lead to intimacy. Follow these rules and you can avoid becoming another victim.
You’re welcome.
Friday, 25 January 2008
Fire in the hole!!!!!!!!!!
Let’s just say that you can never own a curry, you can only rent it by the day….
Friday, 21 December 2007
Computer Vs. Computer
Jenny Says: Don't go just yet! If you order right now you can get started for only $39.99! (Normally $49.99) That is $10 off our original asking price! CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal!
Jenny Says: Just type 'HI' or 'Hello' in the space below to let me know you are there.
You: hello computer
Jenny Says: Hi, thanks for chatting with me... to return and to receive $10 Off CLICK HERE
Jenny Says: Here is how simple the process for writing the ads is:
You: can I get a bigger discount?
Jenny Says: 1. Get on the internet and log into the members with your username and password. Then click the "Getting Started" link and access the info for the ads that need to be created.
You: or a loan
Jenny Says: This amazing offer is only available through this chat and for a limited time. CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal.
You: lend me money
Jenny Says: I am authorized to offer a $10 off, would you like to find out more about this offer?
You: I'm poor
You: very poor
Jenny Says: There are over 100,000 companies listed who each need ads written. All these companies are listed in massive directories like like cj, linkshare, etc. I'll explain it all step by step in the members area.
You: stinking poor
You: but i can type
Jenny Says: OK, Thank you for your time. To end the CHAT simply CLICK on the "X" in upper right.
You: really fast
Jenny Says: You'll be able to try entering data risk free for 30 days and if you decide not to continue you won't be charged a penny.
Jenny Says: Keep in mind that you will be able to login 24 hours a day and check your stats to see how much you've made. All these companies that we recommend are very reputable and we have never had a problem with late payments.
You: okay. you've convinced me
Jenny Says: Don't pass this opportunity up, $10 off is a deal that can't be beat anywhere! CLICK HERE to take advantage of this deal!
You: send money
Jenny Says: Okay great. CLICK HERE and fill out the page in order to take advantage of this great offer.
Jenny Says: We accept the following forms of payment: Visa, MC, AMEX, Discover and Paypal.
You: i don't have any of them
Jenny Says: 2. Then write the ads for each set of keywords in whatever way you want. They never ever reject an ad.
You: i have pebbles
You: and a goat
You: trade you my goat
Jenny Says: 3. Once the ads are written you submit the ads you just wrote and payments of $25 - $50 (depending on the ad) start to show in my account.
Jenny Says: It's that easy! CLICK HERE to get started!
You: and I'll throw in a pebble...
You: two pebbles
You: three pebbles. final offer
You: hello?
Thursday, 13 December 2007
It's not just America that I make fun of
This is the Stoxx 600 (the 600 biggest European-listed companies) if you were buying it with oil. Okay, so you can’t actually rock up to your brokerage with a tanker full of sweet light crude – oh wait, yes you can…
http://www.norges-bank.no/Pages/Article____41137.aspx
http://www1.minfin.ru/stabfond_eng/stabfond_eng.htm
http://www.zawya.com/cm/profile.cfm/cid1003480
http://www.finance.gov.bn/index1.htm
http://www.osi-az.org/cow_docs/MarchenkoKazakhstan.pdf
http://www.finance.alberta.ca/business/investments/index.html
http://goliath.ecnext.com/coms2/gi_0199-1566224/IRAN-S-OIL-STABILISATION-FUND.html

